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The Wild Boys
WE WANTED TO DROP YOU A LINE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE BEEN AT OUR FOREVER HOME FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS NOW (OF COURSE WE KNOW YOU HAVE MISSED US!). IT SEEMS LIKE A NICE PLACE AND OUR NEW MOM AND DAD REALLY SEEM TO LIKE US A LOT. THEY HAD ALL SORTS OF TOYS AND CLIMBING TOWERS SET UP FOR US WHEN WE ARRIVED, SO THEIR GOOD INTENTIONS ARE NOTED. WHEN WE FIRST ARRIVED, WE WERE A LITTLE SHOCKED TO FIND
THAT WE WERE EXPECTED TO SHARE THE HOUSE WITH A SMALL WHITE CREATURE THAT THEY
KEPT CALLING “PRISSY.” SHE LOOKED A LITTLE SCARY TO US AND HAD A REALLY ANNOYING BARKING SOUND. WE HAVE SINCE FOUND OUT SHE IS A DOG! CATS DON’T LIKE DOGS!!! WE CHECKED HER OUT AND HISSED AND FLASHED OUR CLAWS AT HER FOR A FEW DAYS TO LET HER KNOW WE WERE IN CONTROL AND SHE HAS FINALLY SUBMITTED, WE ARE NOW IN CONTROL OF THE HOUSE. WE USE HER AS NEEDED FOR A PILLOW, PLAYMATE, CUDDLE PARTNER AND SCAPEGOAT FOR ANYTHING THAT GOES WRONG. SHE DOESN’T APPEAR TO BE VERY SMART! NOW WE HAVE LEARNED ABOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE AND HAVE FOUND ALL THE GREAT HIDING PLACES. WE PLAY WITH THE TOYS THEY PROVIDE, BUT MUCH TO THEIR DISMAY, WE REALLY PREFER EMPTY BEER BOXES AND PAPER GROCERY BAGS. THEY DON’T SEEM TO GET IT, BUT CONTINUE TO LEAVE THEM AROUND FOR US. THEIR TRAINING IS NOT GOING QUITE AS PLANNED. MOM HAS A LOT OF GUNS AROUND THE HOUSE.
WHEN SHE CATCHES US DOING SOMETHING SHE THINKS WE AR NOT SUPPOSED TO DO, SHE AIMS AND FIRES, DOUSING US WITH SQUIRTS OF WATER!!! (WE’LL NEVER LET ON THAT WE LOVE WATER!!) WE USUALLY STOP WHATEVER SEEMS TO BE BUGGING HER AT THE MOMENT AND PRETEND TO BE ALL INDIGNANT. ONCE SHE LEAVES THE ROOM, WE CONTINUE OUR MISSION. SHE DOES, HOWEVER, SEEM TO HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD (AND SOMETIMES IT APPEARS TO BE SPINNING!!) GIVE US MORE TIME AND WE WILL HAVE THEM RIGHT WHERE WE WANT THEM. NIGHTS ARE A LITTLE MORE RELAXING FOR US BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY PROVIDED US WITH THESE LITTLE CAT BEDS TO SLEEP IN?!!! NOT GONNA HAPPEN. WE HAVE TAKEN OVER THE KING SIZED BED IN THE MASTER BEDROOM. THEY CONTINUE TO INSIST ON SLEEPING THERE WITH US (THE WHITE CREATURE TOO!) SO WE STRETCH OUT OR OUR BACKS AND SPREAD OUT TO GIVE THEM AS LITTLE ROOM AS POSSIBLE TO MOVE. WE HOPE TO HAVE THEM OUT OF THERE WITHIN A FEW WEEKS! YOU WILL BE SO PROUD TO HERE OF OUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS SO FAR.
IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS ALONE,
WE CAN HIT ANY COUNTER WITH ONE LEAP AND REALLY KNOW HOW TO PUT THE PRESSURE ON WHEN WE ARE HUNGRY. JUMPING AND HANGING ON TO THEIR PANT LEGS IS REALLY EFFECTIVE, BUT IT USUALLY RESULTS IN THE GUN BEFORE DINNER!! WE TEAR THROUGH THE HOUSE LIKE WILD MANIACS AND WE DON’T STOP TIL THE SUN GOES DOWN! YOU WOULD BE SO PROUD. SUNDANCE IS ACTING A LITTLE WEIRD THOUGH; HE CRAWLS IN THEIR LAPS AND ACTS LIKE HE WANTS THEM TO PET HIM. GROSS!! I, HOWEVER, HAVE NO INTENTION OF ACTING LIKE A CUDDLY CAT. WE ARE TIGERS, WHY IS HE GOING ALL SOFT ON ME!!! WE ARE GROWING LIKE WEEDS BUT SIMBA HAS SOME SORT OF COMPLEX ABOUT BEING SMALLER, HE REALLY THINKS HE HAS TO TRY HARDER TO COMPENSATE. IT USUALLY GETS HIM IN TROUBLE, BUT HE DOES NOT SEEM TO MIND. WE ARE LEARNING HOW TO GO OUTSIDE ON OUR HARNESSES AND LEASHES BUT DON’T REALLY CARE FOR REALLY HOT WEATHER. WHY BOTHER WHEN WE HAVE A VIEW FROM INSIDE AND CAN WATCH THE WILDLIFE FROM A TEMPERATURE CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT! MOM AND DAD CAN SWEAT IT OUT ALL THEY WANT, WE’RE HAPPY INSIDE. WE DO HAVE ONE CONCERN, HOWEVER. THE OTHER DAY WE HEARD MOM AND DAD TALKING ABOUT MAKING SOME SORT OF DOCTORS APPOINTMENT IN A MONTH OR SO FROM NOW. IF WE HEARD THEM CORRECTLY, THEY WERE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT HAVING PART OF OUR PRIVATE AREA REMOVED!!! THEY MIGHT AS WELL FORGET THAT APPOINTMENT BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY WE WILL SIGN THAT CONSENT FORM!! ARE THEY INSANE OR WHAT? MAYBE WE WILL SECRETLY MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR DAD AND SEE HOW QUICKLY HE CHANGES HIS ATTITUDE ON THE MATTER! MEANWHILE, WE ARE SCOUTING OUT SECRET HIDING AREAS IN CASE THEY SHOULD TRY TO TAKE US!! WE WON’T GO WITHOUT A FIGHT!!! I MEAN EDDIE, SERIOUSLY, WOULD YOU LET THEM DO THAT TO YOU??? POINT MADE! PLEASE CALL AND PLEAD ON OUR BEHALF, IT’S THE LAST THING WE’LL EVER ASK FOR, WE PROMISE!!! SO NOW YOU ARE CAUGHT UP ON OUR LIFE . IT ‘S REALLY A PRETTY COOL PLACE TO BE AND MOM AND DAD ARE TRYING REALLY HARD TO KEEP US IN THE MANNER TO WHICH WE HAVE GROWN ACCUSTOMED . COUNT ON US TO DO YOU PROUD, AND DON’T FORGET THAT PHONE CALL!! LOVE, LICKS AND MEOWS, SUNDANCE AND SIMBA AKA THE “WILD BOYS”!!!
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